he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
