New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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