Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
