Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
