i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
