I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
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