I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
