Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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