The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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