he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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