Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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