On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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