I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
