it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
