Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
