So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
