Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
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After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
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I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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