i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
