They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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