Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It's Friday. Sex?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
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He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
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we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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