she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
