it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
