I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize