I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
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He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
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I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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