I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize