Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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