i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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