i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
where are my eyebrows?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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