I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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