quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
