We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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