I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
