Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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