Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
