Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
