Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize