Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize