He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
