Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
