my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
