kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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