that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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