mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
