i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize