Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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