He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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