dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
