I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
