come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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