that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
