And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
