I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
