My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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