I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
