My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
