THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
