She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
