he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
