went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
