You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
