I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
