Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
