If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
