Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my being single is dangerous.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
BRING THE BAGELS
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
