Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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