Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
