Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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